Thursday, May 29, 2025

LIFE OF A JOKE

 LIFE OF A JOKE


Birth: A Freshman thinks it up and laughs out loud in chapel.


Age 5 minutes: The Freshman tell it toa Junior who says it’s pretty good, but he’s heard it before.


Age I day: Flumor editors use it as their own.


Age 2 days: Editor thinks it 1s terrible.


Age 10 days: Editor has to fill in space in a magazine, so the joke is printed.


Age 1 month: Thirteen other school magazines reprint it.


Age 3 years: Monitors reprint it in “Lighter Vein.”


Age 10 years: Seventy-nine radio comedians discover it simultaneously and tell it, accompanied by howls of mirth from the orchestra ($500 a howl).


Age 100 years: Teachers start telling it in class.

VERY TRUE

 VERY TRUE


This book is a great invention : MWumor The school gets all the fame, The printers get all the money, And the staff gets all the blame. Pat: (seeing Mike with his arm in a sling) “How’d you break your arm, Mike?” Mike: “Well, I was riding along in my car, and a guy in a big car goes by me so fast I thought I was standing still, so I got out to crank’ the thing.”


Dad: Didn’t I hear the clock strike three when you came in last night? Margie: Yes, Dad. It started to strike eleven, but I stopped it so you wouldn’t be disturbed.

Sunday, May 11, 2025

Philosophy of our age


 

Theosophy


 

From Email to the Universe: and other alterations of consciousness

 

Email to the Universe: and other alterations of consciousness

Chapter 49: The Relativity of “Reality”
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The Relativity of “Reality”

 

      1. From the viewpoint of semantics, “reality” is a multi-ordinal concept, having different meanings on different levels of abstraction. On the lowest level of abstraction “reality” refers to immediate sensory consistency. “Is there really a kangaroo in that chair?” can be answered by obtaining the consensus of the group; or, if everybody is stoned, by bringing in some objective observers with objective instruments, etc. On the highest level of abstraction, “reality” refers to logical consistency with a body of established scientific fact and theory. “Is entropy real?” can be answered by consulting a reliable textbook on thermodynamics. Between the level of kangaroo and the level of entropy, there are many other levels of abstraction and, hence, many kinds of “reality.”

      For instance, “Is the Gross National Product real?” is a question on a certain level of abstraction; and if equally intelligent people can, and do, argue about this, it is because they are talking on different levels of abstraction and are not aware of the fact that there are different levels of abstraction and different kinds of “reality.”

      I call this the semantic relativity of “reality.”

      2. Every tribe has its own “reality  map,” or worldview, or What is “real” to the Eskimo is not what is “real” to the Zuni Indian or the Congolese or the Japanese Buddhist or the German businessman or the Russian commissar, etc. If you travel around the world with the naive assumption that everybody is living in the same “reality,” you will make numerous embarrassing mistakes, insult countless people unintentionally, make a splendid ass of yourself and generally contribute to the worldwide belief that tourists are a Curse of God sent to punish people for their sins. To recognize that every culture, and sub-culture, has its own “reality” is the prerequisite of sophistication, tact, and true tolerance. Otherwise you come on like the Englishman who claimed all Chinese understand English if you just shout loud enough.

      I call this the anthropological, or cultural, relativism of “reality.”

      3. Every nervous system creates its own “reality.” Out of the billions, or billions of billions, of energies intersecting the room in which you read this, your brain, performing 100,000,000 processes per minute (almost all of them unconscious to those circuits called the ego and recognized as “me”) arranges a few hundred or thousand into the Gestalt which you experience as the “reality” of the room. To demonstrate this, in my Info-Psychology classes, I will have the students describe the hall outside the lecture room; no two will describe exactly the same hall.

      Or, I will have everybody write down what they hear in the room during a minute of clock-time; no two lists of these sounds will be identical. A variety of chemicals introduced into the nervous system, or direct brain stimulation with electrical impulses, or yoga, etc., will create an entirely different neurological “reality” while you are still sitting in the "same” room.

      I call this neurological relativism, or the relativity of perceived “reality.”

      4. Two scientists moving at different accelerations can measure the same phenomenon with equally accurate instruments and obtain totally different readings of its extensions in the space and time dimensions. (Einstein, Special On the quantum level, a variety of different philosophical reality-maps, or “models,” describe equally well both the experimental data and the mathematical equations that are known to “fit” the data. Any attempt to get around this by adding more sophisticated instruments leads to adding still more sophisticated instruments to monitor the first set, and so on, forever. (Von Neumann’s “catastrophe of the infinite regress.”)

      I call this physical Relativity, or the relativity of instrumental “reality.”

      In conclusion, “reality” is a concept borrowed from the theologians who, being bankrupt, are in no position to loan anything to anybody. We would do better to restrict ourselves to questions that can be answered. Such questions take the form, “At this date, with the knowledge presently possessed by humanity, which model best accords with the facts?”

      When it turns out, as it usually does these days, that several models work equally well, we might then ask: which models are most amusing? most optimistic? most worthy of our time and energy? most elegant and esthetic? And we can keep in mind, too, biologist J.B.S. Haldane’s warning, “The universe may be not only stranger than we think, but stranger than we can think.”

Sunday, May 4, 2025

Dada poem

 The great idea is that you wake up with cartoon.

You missed the point.

You are awesome👍!!!???!?

If you don't want to carry a gun and we don't have a problem with it, 

You missed the point.

If Alice had one side of popcorn and the other Bill of popcorn and the other day e raw the same name too,

You can get back in your mouth.

How many times do you have to use?

When you wake up with cartoon friends and you wake up with cartoon characters you will have to use the same name as the math and we don't have a problem with them.

Growth of language

 Language is a growth rather than a creation. The growth in our vocabulary is seen in the vast increase in size of our dictionaries during the past century. This growth is not only in amount, but among other elements of growth the written forms of words are becoming simpler and more uniform. For example, compare English spelling of a century or two centuries ago with that of to-day ! It is our duty to encourage and advance the movement toward simple, uniform and rational spelling. See the .recommendations of the Philological Society of London, and of the American Fhi^oicgical Association, and list ot amended spellings, publisht in the Century Dictionary (fallowing the letter z), and also in the Standard Dictionary, Webster's Die- ^ tionary, and other authoritative works on language. The tendency is to drop silent letters in .bwre of die mott flagrant instances, as ugh from though, etc., change ed to t in most places where o pronounced (where ittloes not affect the preceding sound), etc.

Friday, May 2, 2025

Chess with dracula

 The old, wrought iron chess set was Dracula's most prized possession. Not for its monetary value, though it was crafted from solid silver and inlaid with obsidian, but for the strategic possibilities it represented. The dance of the pieces, the calculated sacrifices, the slow, inexorable tightening of the noose around his opponent's king – it was a reflection of his own immortal existence, a game played across centuries, a constant battle for power and dominance.

He rarely played with others. Mortals were simply too… predictable. Their strategies were limited by their lifespans, by their understanding of the world. They could not grasp the long game, the patient waiting, the subtle manipulation that was second nature to him.

Tonight, however, was different. A new guest had arrived at the castle, a young scholar named Professor Armitage, purportedly researching Romanian folklore. Dracula had sensed a flicker of intellectual fire in the man's eyes, a spark of the strategical mind he rarely encountered. He extended the invitation.

"Professor," Dracula said, his voice a low rumble that echoed in the cavernous hall, "I find myself in need of worthy competition. Would you care to indulge me in a game of chess?"

Armitage, pale but resolute, nodded. "I would be honored, Count."

The game began under the watchful gaze of gargoyle statues and the flickering light of a single candelabra. Dracula moved with unnerving speed and precision, his long, elegant fingers manipulating the pieces with a predatory grace. His opening was aggressive, a gambit designed to unsettle his opponent.

Armitage, however, remained unfazed. He countered with a defensive strategy, patiently building his position, refusing to be drawn into a reckless attack. Dracula found himself surprisingly challenged. The professor's moves were not brilliant, but they were solid, thoughtful, and demonstrated a surprising understanding of positional play.

Hours passed. The silence was broken only by the occasional rustling of the wind outside and the clinking of the chess pieces. Dracula felt a prickle of unease. This mortal was proving more resilient than he had anticipated. He tried to lure Armitage into traps, to exploit perceived weaknesses, but the professor remained cautious, always anticipating his moves.

As the dawn approached, painting the mountains with streaks of grey, the game reached a critical point. Dracula had engineered a seemingly devastating attack, forcing Armitage's king into a corner. Victory seemed assured.

He leaned forward, a predatory glint in his crimson eyes, ready to deliver the final blow. "Checkmate," he murmured, his voice dripping with satisfaction.

But Armitage did not flinch. He slowly moved his queen, sacrificing her to open a line of attack. "Not quite, Count," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "Check."

Dracula stared at the board, his blood running cold, for the first time in centuries, with something akin to fear. He had been so focused on his attack, so confident in his victory, that he had overlooked a simple, devastating counter.

He had been outmaneuvered.

With a sigh, he moved his king, acknowledging the inevitable. "Checkmate," he conceded, a hint of grudging respect in his voice.

Armitage nodded, his face etched with exhaustion but also with a quiet triumph. "A well-played game, Count."

As the first rays of sunlight streamed through the arched windows, Dracula felt a strange mixture of emotions. Disappointment, yes, but also a flicker of… excitement. He had finally found an opponent who could challenge him, who could force him to think, to adapt, to truly play the game.

"Professor," he said, a slow smile spreading across his face, "I believe we have only just begun. Perhaps, tomorrow night, we shall continue this game…"

And as Armitage nodded, shivering in the encroaching daylight, Dracula knew that the game, the grand game of strategy and power, would continue, perhaps for another century, perhaps for eternity. And that, he realized, was a prospect that truly delighted him.

Jesus dances with Dinosaurs

 The asteroid hadn't hit yet. The air was thick, humid, and vibrant with the chirps, roars, and rustles of a world teeming with primeval life. Jesus, sandals dusty and robe shimmering with an inner light, stood on a small rise overlooking a verdant valley. He wasn't supposed to be here, not in this time. But the Father, in his infinite wisdom and amusement, had sent him on a mission. He wasn't entirely sure what the mission was, only that it involved bringing joy. And possibly evolving better head feathers on the Parasaurolophus.

He saw them first, a trio of Brachiosauruses gently browsing the canopy. Their immense forms were graceful despite their size, their long necks swaying like reeds in a breeze. Jesus smiled, a warmth spreading through him. He knew they were sentient, in their own way, connected to the earth in a primal understanding.

He began to hum, a simple melody that resonated with the very core of the planet. The ground vibrated subtly. The Brachiosauruses lifted their heads, their massive eyes widening in curiosity. They lumbered closer, drawn to the music.

Then, a Tyrannosaurus Rex, undeniably the most intimidating creature within a ten-mile radius, emerged from the jungle. It roared, a sound that shook the trees and rattled Jesus’ bones. He didn't flinch. He just kept humming, his melody unwavering.

The T-Rex stopped, its tiny arms flailing slightly. It tilted its massive head, its predatory gaze softening, confused. It was used to eliciting fear, not… this.

Suddenly, Jesus began to dance. It wasn’t a religious dance, not a solemn ritual. It was a joyous, exuberant expression of life. He twirled, he leaped, he swayed, his robe swirling around him like a halo of light. He moved with a freedom that defied gravity, a lightness that belied his earthly form.

The Brachiosauruses, initially bewildered, started to sway their necks in time with the music. The T-Rex, after a moment of stunned silence, began to tap its enormous foot. It looked utterly ridiculous, a prehistoric apex predator tentatively keeping rhythm to a divine jig.

Soon, other dinosaurs started to gather. A cluster of Ornithomimuses, curious and bird-like, pecked at the ground in time with the beat. A herd of Triceratops, usually grumpy and territorial, watched with mild interest, their frills vibrating slightly.

Jesus beckoned the T-Rex closer. The creature hesitated, then cautiously approached. Jesus reached out and took one of its tiny arms. "Come on," he said, his voice filled with laughter, "Let me show you how it's done."

The T-Rex, bewildered but unable to resist the invitation, allowed itself to be led. Jesus showed it a simple two-step, a modified version of the hora he’d learned at a wedding in Galilee. The T-Rex, surprisingly coordinated, caught on quickly, its enormous bulk moving with an unexpected grace.

Soon, the entire valley was a chaotic, joyful mess. Brachiosauruses swayed, Ornithomimuses peed, and even the Triceratops were begrudgingly tapping their feet. Jesus danced with them all, laughing and singing, filling the valley with an unheard symphony of joy.

The asteroid still loomed in the future, a dark inevitability. But in that moment, under the warm, prehistoric sun, surrounded by dancing dinosaurs, Jesus had brought a moment of pure, unadulterated joy to a world that would soon be gone.

He looked up at the sky, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Maybe I should teach them the Macarena," he muttered to himself, before spinning into another joyful leap, his sandals kicking up dust as he danced with the dinosaurs, a shepherd of a truly unique flock. His mission, he realized, wasn't just about joy, it was about celebrating life, even when it was fleeting, even when it was prehistoric, even when it involved dancing with a Tyrannosaurus Rex. And in that moment, he knew the Father was smiling

Special "S” BbqJauce

 Special "S” BbqJauce Masters of the barbecue pride themselves on their their own special homemade BBQ sauce. The basic ingredients are...