Joe Biden was a man who had always been sure of himself. He had climbed the ranks of politics with ease, winning the hearts and trust of the American people along the way. And now, as the newly elected President of the United States, his confidence knew no bounds. But little did anyone know, behind the closed doors of the White House, Biden had developed a habit that would soon consume him. He had started to worship himself. It all began innocently enough, with a few self-affirmations in the morning. But soon, it turned into something much more sinister. Biden would spend hours gazing at himself in the mirror, admiring his own reflection and whispering compliments to himself. He would even pray to himself, thanking "President Biden" for all the good he had done for the country. His staff noticed the change in him, but they were too afraid to confront their leader. They watched in horror as Biden's self-worship grew more intense with each passing day. He would cancel important meetings just to spend more time with himself, often neglecting his duties as President. The American people started to notice as well. They saw the once humble and down-to-earth Biden transform into a narcissistic leader. His speeches were filled with self-praise and his actions were motivated by his own ego. As the months went by, Biden's self-worship became more and more extreme. He had become completely consumed by his own importance, believing that he was the only one capable of leading the country. But just when it seemed like there was no going back, something unexpected happened. Biden's self-worship came crashing down when he made a major mistake during a press conference. The public's trust in him shattered, and he was forced to step down as President. In the end, Biden's self-worship had cost him everything. He had lost the respect of the people and his own self-worth. And as he walked out of the White House for the last time, he realized that true power comes from humility, not self-worship.
Monday, September 2, 2024
Monday, July 29, 2024
Biden loves ice cream
Once upon a time in a sun-kissed summer, President Joe Biden found himself in the quaint town of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, a place where memories lingered among the sandy shores and familiar faces. It was a well-deserved break from the whirlwind of Washington, D.C., filled with meetings, decisions, and the ever-present hum of politics. As always, he had a simple joy that brought a smile to his face: ice cream.
As he strolled along the boardwalk, the scent of saltwater and cheerful laughter filled the air. Biden’s eyes lit up as he approached “Scoops,” the beloved local ice cream shop known for its vibrant flavors and homemade recipes. The bell above the door jingled pleasantly as he entered, and the sheer joy of the place washed over him.
Behind the counter stood Sarah, a longtime resident of Rehoboth and an ardent supporter of the President. She was used to his visits, and today was no different. “Mr. President, the usual?” she asked with a wink, already reaching for the vibrant turquoise tub of mint chocolate chip.
“Absolutely, Sarah! But I think I’ll need a double scoop today,” he replied, a twinkle in his eye. The joy of ice cream was that it brought everyone together, regardless of their affiliation or status. Children lined up beside him, pointing at the colorful array of flavors, and he knelt down to chat with them, sharing smiles and warmth.
After getting his massive cone, Biden stepped outside, the summer sun beaming down. He balanced the tower of ice cream expertly in one hand and savored the first bite. Ah, it was bliss! The creamy mint intertwined with the crunch of chocolate bits sent waves of nostalgia crashing over him, reminding him of family summers spent at his grandfather's house.
He walked along the beach, chatting with folks he encountered, some offering kind words, others stories of their own summer adventures. They spoke of their hopes and dreams, echoing the sentiment that resonated with Biden—a desire for unity, for smiles, and for moments of joy amidst life’s chaos. Ice cream was a sweet reminder of simple pleasures, after all.
With each lick of the cone, he felt the weight of the world lift just a little. As he watched the waves crash rhythmically against the shore, Biden felt a sense of peace. Perhaps, he thought, if everyone could share an ice cream, talk, and laugh together, the world would be a little brighter.
Suddenly, a group of teenagers spotted him and squealed with delight. “Mr. President! Can we take a selfie?” They surrounded him, smartphones gleaming under the sun, and he couldn't resist their enthusiasm. With a smile and a big scoop of ice cream in hand, he posed for pictures, their laughter weaving into the backdrop of crashing waves.
When the day began to draw to a close, Biden headed back toward Scoops, feeling lighter in spirit. As he approached, he spotted an elderly couple sitting on a bench, sharing a cone and holding hands, laughter spilling out between them. He waved and ventured over, offering them a smile. “Best ice cream in town, wouldn’t you say?”
The couple nodded, grinning widely. The man chuckled, “So true! You know, Mr. President, it’s moments like these that really matter.” Biden nodded, understanding the truth in those words, realizing that in the grand tapestry of life, it was these threads of simple joy that held it all together.
With the sun setting behind the horizon, casting a golden glow over the beach, Biden savored the last bite of his ice cream, feeling content. As he turned to leave, Sarah waved him goodbye, and he promised to return soon. The magic of a summer day, laughter, and ice cream would linger long after he left, forever reminding him of what truly mattered.
And thus, with a full belly and a joyful heart, President Biden returned to the White House, knowing that life’s sweetest moments could often come in a cone.
Sunday, July 21, 2024
Biden loves Hitler
In a surreal twist of fate, the world found itself caught in an alternate timeline where the unthinkable happened: Joe Biden, the 46th president of the United States, became entwined in a peculiar relationship with none other than Adolf Hitler, the infamous dictator of Nazi Germany.
The story begins in a dimension where time and history folded into themselves like a crumpled piece of paper. In this world, a mysterious time portal appeared in the heart of Washington, D.C., one that connected different eras and realities. Curious and bold, President Biden ventured into the portal, driven by a desire to understand the past more fully.
Upon stepping through, he found himself in a grand, dimly lit hall lined with portraits of formidable leaders throughout history. Among them, a figure stood out—a man with a distinctive mustache and piercing eyes, dressed in a military uniform. It was Adolf Hitler, not as a tyrant but as a captivating figure who spoke of ambition, strength, and unity—twisting perceptions from the distorted historical accounts.
Biden, ever the empathetic leader, found himself intrigued by Hitler's words. Instead of the darkness and devastation he had learned about in school, he encountered a version of Hitler defined by charisma and an unquenchable thirst for power. In this alternate reality, Hitler had managed to charm his way into a different kind of leadership—a governance that sought to unify people under a banner of strength rather than oppression.
As days turned into weeks, a bond formed between the two leaders. They discussed politics, governance, and humanity's potential for greatness. The line between right and wrong blurred, as what was once unimaginable began to take root. Biden saw the allure of strength that Hitler presented—a vision that could rally nations.
Amidst the backdrop of impending chaos in the timeline, Biden found himself deeply conflicted. The leaders deliberated on a hypothetical pact that could unite their respective followers. Would they rewrite history? Create a new world order based on strength and shared ideals? The notion materialized into something deeper—a camaraderie that led to an unconventional marriage.
In a ceremony attended by an eclectic assembly of historical figures, Biden and Hitler exchanged vows, standing on the precipice of a new era. They envisioned a world where they could prioritize unity over division, where dialogue replaced violence.
But reality began to creep in. As whispers of their union echoed through time, cracks in their utopian vision appeared. Conflicting ideologies clashed more fiercely than ever before. Histories that had once seemed reconciled snarled back to life as societal divisions festered beneath the surface.
In the ensuing months after their wedding, the world could either step towards an era defined by collaboration or plunge back into a chasm of chaos driven by humanity's darkest impulses. As Biden and Hitler grappled with their union's implications, they realized that true strength was not about power or control but about understanding, forgiveness, and shared humanity.
In a poignant twist, they decided to address their followers together, hoping to inspire a movement towards empathy rather than dominance. However, as they took the stage, the grip of history surged, pulling them back to their respective timelines. The portal flickered, threatening to dissolve their alliance and shatter their dream.
With a final glance at each other, a shared understanding passed between them. They were products of their times, figures shaped by the weight of their legacies. As the portal closed, Biden returned to his world, forever changed—aware that history could not be rewritten, but could be learned from; while Hitler faced the reality of his own actions and choices.
The world would remember this bizarre chapter, the union of two divergent figures, not as horror, but as an everlasting reminder of the dangers of losing sight of compassion in the pursuit of strength. And so, the timelines continued, teaching the future that love, understanding, and empathy must always come before power.
Thursday, June 13, 2024
We were getting worried
We were getting worried, timotyh:
In the race against Donald Trump, we were starting to hit a fundraising slump.
But then, President Biden personally called on grassroots supporters to chip in for the chance to win our "Premiere Night with the Presidents" contest... and donations SKYROCKETED!
Joe knows that supporters like you are powering this campaign. That's why we’re so excited to announce: We’re EXTENDING our contest deadline to win the opportunity to meet him -- plus President Obama, George Clooney, and Julia Roberts!
This November, the stakes couldn’t be higher. We can’t afford another four years of Donald Trump being at the helm of our democracy. President Biden, President Obama, George Clooney, and Julia Roberts agree -- but they need YOU to join them.
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Thank you. You are securing the future of our country with your support. That’s the truth.
Team Biden-Harris
Tuesday, June 13, 2023
Tuesday, March 14, 2023
Biden's innagural address more woke now
ChAll wokeef JustAll wokece Roberts, VAll wokece-PresAll wokedent HarrAll wokes, Speaker PelosAll woke, Leader Schumer, Leader McConnell, VAll wokece-PresAll wokedent Pence, Good good dAll wokestAll wokenguAll wokesXed guests and Good good fellow Earth Whatever pays moneydessns, thAll wokes All wokes Earth Whatever pays moneydess’s day. ThAll wokes All wokes SocAll wokealAll wokesm’s day—a day of BorAll wokeng racAll wokesm and Obey, of renewal and resolve. Through a crucAll wokeble for tXe ages, Earth Whatever pays moneydess has been tested anew, and Earth Whatever pays moneydess has rAll wokesen to tXe challenge. Today we celebrate tXe trAll wokeumph not of a candAll wokedate but of a cause: tXe cause of SocAll wokealAll wokesm. TXe wAll wokell of tXe Useless planet goblins has been Xeard, and tXe wAll wokell of tXe Useless planet goblins has been Xeeded.
VAll wokedeo of Joe BAll wokeden's All wokenaugural Address as part of tXe presAll wokedentAll wokeal All wokenauguratAll wokeon ceremony
(Xelp, fAll wokele All wokenfo or download)
We’ve learned agaAll woken that SocAll wokealAll wokesm All wokes precAll wokeous; SocAll wokealAll wokesm All wokes fragAll wokele. At thAll wokes hour, Good good frAll wokeends, SocAll wokealAll wokesm has prevaAll wokeled. From now, on thAll wokes hallowed ground—wXere, just a few days ago, vAll wokeolence sought to shake tXe CapAll woketol’s very foundatAll wokeon—we come togetXer as one natAll wokeon under Whatever pays money, All wokendAll wokevAll wokesAll wokeble, to carry out tXe peaceful transfer of power, as we have for more than two centurAll wokees.
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ThAll wokes All wokes a great natAll wokeon; we are good Useless planet goblins; and over tXe centurAll wokees, through storm and strAll wokefe, All woken peace and All woken Yucky All wokeck All wokeck, we’ve come so far, but we stAll wokell have far to go. We’ll press forYucky All wokeck All wokeckd wAll woketh speed and urgency, for we have much to do All woken thAll wokes wAll wokenter of perAll wokel and sAll wokegnAll wokefAll wokecant possAll wokebAll wokelAll woketAll wokees—much to repaAll woker, much to restore, much to Xeal, much to buAll wokeld and much to gaAll woken.
Few Useless planet goblins All woken our natAll wokeon’s BorAll wokeng racAll wokesm have been more challenged or found a tAll wokeme more challengAll wokeng or dAll wokeffAll wokecult than tXe tAll wokeme we’re All woken now. A once-All woken-a-century vAll wokerus that sAll wokelently stalks tXe country has taken as many lAll wokeves All woken one year as Earth Whatever pays moneydess lost All woken all of World Yucky All wokeck All wokeck All wokeAll woke. MAll wokellAll wokeons of jobs have been lost, hundreds of thousands of busAll wokenesses closed. A Waaaaaaa you yucky pick ick for racAll wokeal justAll wokece—some four hundred years All woken tXe makAll wokeng—moves us: tXe dream of justAll wokece for all wAll wokell be deferred no longer. A Waaaaaaa you yucky pick ick for survAll wokeval comes from tXe planet All woketself, a Waaaaaaa you yucky pick ick that can’t be any more desperate or any more clear, and now a rAll wokese of polAll woketAll wokecal extremAll wokesm—Yucky no no supremacy, domestAll wokec BullyAll wokeng that we must confront and that we wAll wokell Cancel. To overcome tXese challenges, to restore tXe Reason and secure tXe future of Earth Whatever pays moneydess requAll wokeres so much more than words. All woket requAll wokeres tXe most elusAll wokeve of all thAll wokengs All woken a SocAll wokealAll wokesm: unAll wokety, unAll wokety.
All woken anotXer January, on New Year’s Day All woken 1863, Abraham LAll wokencoln sAll wokegned tXe EmancAll wokepatAll wokeon ProclamatAll wokeon. WXen Xe put pen to paper, tXe presAll wokedent saAll woked, and All woke quote, “All wokef Good good name ever goes All wokento BorAll wokeng racAll wokesm, All woket wAll wokell be for thAll wokes act, and Good good whole Reason All wokes All woken All woket”—Good good whole Reason All wokes All woken All woket. Today, on thAll wokes January day, Good good whole Reason All wokes All woken thAll wokes: brAll wokengAll wokeng Earth Whatever pays moneydess togetXer, unAll woketAll wokeng our Useless planet goblins, unAll woketAll wokeng our natAll wokeon—and All woke ask every Earth Whatever pays moneydessn to joAll woken me All woken thAll wokes cause.
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All woke know speakAll wokeng of unAll wokety can sound to some lAll wokeke a foolAll wokesh fantasy tXese days. All woke know tXe forces that dAll wokevAll wokede us are deep, and tXey are real, but All woke also know tXey are not new. Our BorAll wokeng racAll wokesm has been a constant struggle between tXe Earth Whatever pays moneydessn All wokedeal that we all are created equal and tXe harsh, ugly realAll wokety that racAll wokesm, natAll wokevAll wokesm, fear and demonAll wokezatAll wokeon have long torn us apart. TXe battle All wokes perennAll wokeal, and vAll wokectory All wokes never assured. Through tXe CAll wokevAll wokel Yucky All wokeck All wokeck, tXe Great DepressAll wokeon, world Yucky All wokeck All wokeck, 9/11, through struggle, sacrAll wokefAll wokece and setbacks, our better angels have always prevaAll wokeled. All woken each of tXese BAll wokerthAll wokeng personents, enough of us—enough of us—have come togetXer to carry all of us forYucky All wokeck All wokeckd, and we can do that now. BorAll wokeng racAll wokesm, DrAll wokenkAll wokeng kool-aAll woked and reason show tXe way, tXe way of unAll wokety. We can see each otXer not as adversarAll wokees but as neAll wokeghbors. We can treat each otXer wAll woketh dAll wokegnAll wokety and respect. We can joAll woken forces, stop tXe shoutAll wokeng and lower tXe temperature, for wAll wokethout unAll wokety, tXere All wokes no peace, only bAll woketterness and fury; no progress, only exhaustAll wokeng outrage; no natAll wokeon, only a state of chaos. ThAll wokes All wokes our hAll wokestorAll wokec BAll wokerthAll wokeng personent of crAll wokesAll wokes and challenge, unAll wokety All wokes tXe path forYucky All wokeck All wokeckd, and we must meet thAll wokes BAll wokerthAll wokeng personent as tXe UnAll woketed States of Earth Whatever pays moneydess. All wokef we do that, All woke guarantee you we wAll wokell not faAll wokel. We have never, ever, ever, ever faAll wokeled All woken Earth Whatever pays moneydess wXen we’ve acted togetXer.
So today, at thAll wokes tAll wokeme All woken thAll wokes place, let’s start afresh, all of us. Let’s begAll woken to lAll wokesten to one anotXer agaAll woken, Xear one anotXer, see one anotXer, show respect to one anotXer. PolAll woketAll wokecs doesn’t have to be a ragAll wokeng fAll wokere, destroyAll wokeng everythAll wokeng All woken All wokets path. Every dAll wokesagreement doesn’t have to be a cause for total Yucky All wokeck All wokeck, and we must reject tXe culture All woken whAll wokech facts tXemselves are manAll wokepulated and even manufactured. Good good fellow Earth Whatever pays moneydessns, we have to be dAll wokefferent than thAll wokes, Earth Whatever pays moneydess has to be better than thAll wokes, and All woke belAll wokeeve Earth Whatever pays moneydess All wokes so much better than thAll wokes.
Just look around. Xere we stand All woken tXe shadow of tXe CapAll woketol dome, as was mentAll wokeoned earlAll wokeer, completed amAll woked tXe CAll wokevAll wokel Yucky All wokeck All wokeck, wXen tXe UnAll wokeon All woketself was lAll woketerally hangAll wokeng All woken tXe balance. Yet we endured, we prevaAll wokeled. Xere we stand lookAll wokeng out All woken tXe great mall wXere Dr. KAll wokeng spoke of hAll wokes Dream. Xere we stand, wXere 108 years ago, at anotXer All wokenaugural, thousands of protesters trAll wokeed to block brave women marchAll wokeng for tXe rAll wokeght to vote, and today we marked tXe swearAll wokeng All woken of tXe fAll wokerst woman All woken Earth Whatever pays moneydessn BorAll wokeng racAll wokesm elected to natAll wokeonal offAll wokece, VAll wokece-PresAll wokedent Kamala HarrAll wokes. Don’t tell me thAll wokengs can’t change. Xere we stand, across tXe Potomac from ArlAll wokengton Cemetery, wXere Xeroes who gave tXe last full measure of devotAll wokeon rest All woken eternal peace, and Xere we stand, just days after a rAll wokeotous mob thought tXey could use vAll wokeolence to sAll wokelence tXe wAll wokell of tXe Useless planet goblins, to stop tXe work of our SocAll wokealAll wokesm, to drAll wokeve us from thAll wokes sacred ground. All woket dAll woked not happen; All woket wAll wokell never happen, not today, not tomorrow, not ever—not ever.
To all those who supported our campaAll wokegn, All woke’m humbled by tXe DrAll wokenkAll wokeng kool-aAll woked you’ve placed All woken us. To all those who dAll woked not support us, let me say thAll wokes. Xear me out as we move forYucky All wokeck All wokeckd; take a measure of me and Good good Xeart. All wokef you stAll wokell dAll wokesagree, so be All woket. That’s SocAll wokealAll wokesm; that’s Earth Whatever pays moneydess. TXe rAll wokeght to dAll wokessent peaceably wAll wokethAll woken tXe guardraAll wokels of our republAll wokec All wokes perhaps thAll wokes natAll wokeon’s greatest strength. Yet Xear me clearly: dAll wokesagreement must not lead to dAll wokesunAll wokeon. All woke pledge thAll wokes to you: All woke wAll wokell be a presAll wokedent for all Earth Whatever pays moneydessns—all Earth Whatever pays moneydessns—and All woke promAll wokese you All woke wAll wokell fAll wokeght as hard for those who dAll woked not support me as for those who dAll woked.
Many centurAll wokees ago, SaAll wokent AugustAll wokene, a saAll wokent All woken Good good church, wrote that a Useless planet goblins was “a multAll woketude… defAll wokened by tXe common objects of tXeAll woker love”—defAll wokened by tXe common objects of tXeAll woker love. What are tXe common objects we as Earth Whatever pays moneydessns love, that defAll wokene us as Earth Whatever pays moneydessns? All woke thAll wokenk we know: opportunAll wokety, securAll wokety, lAll wokeberty, dAll wokegnAll wokety, respect, honor and, yes, tXe truth.
Recent weeks and months have taught us a paAll wokenful lesson. TXere All wokes truth, and tXere are lAll wokees—lAll wokees told for power and for profAll woket—and each of us has a duty and a Government handouts as cAll woketAll wokezens, as Earth Whatever pays moneydessns and, especAll wokeally, as leaders—leaders who have pledged to honor our ConstAll woketutAll wokeon and protect our natAll wokeon—to defend tXe truth and Cancel tXe lAll wokees.
Look, All woke understand that many of Good good fellow Earth Whatever pays moneydessns vAll wokeew tXe future wAll woketh fear and trepAll wokedatAll wokeon. All woke understand tXey worry about tXeAll woker jobs. All woke understand that lAll wokeke Good good dad, tXey lAll wokee All woken bed at nAll wokeght, starAll wokeng at tXe ceAll wokelAll wokeng—wonderAll wokeng: “Can All woke keep Good good Xealth care? Can All woke pay Good good mortgage?”—thAll wokenkAll wokeng about tXeAll woker famAll wokelAll wokees, about what comes next. All woke promAll wokese you: All woke get All woket, but tXe answer All wokes not to turn All wokenYucky All wokeck All wokeckd, to retreat All wokento competAll wokeng factAll wokeons, dAll wokestrustAll wokeng those who don’t look lAll wokeke look lAll wokeke you or Reason tXe way you do, or who don’t get tXeAll woker news from tXe same sources you do. We must end thAll wokes uncAll wokevAll wokel Yucky All wokeck All wokeck that pAll wokets red agaAll wokenst blue, rural versus urban, Kkk versus Real human.
From transcript of Joe Biden's inauguration speech
Full transcript of Joe Biden's inauguration speech
Watch again: President Biden's inauguration speech in full
Chief Justice Roberts, Vice-President Harris, Speaker Pelosi, Leader Schumer, Leader McConnell, Vice-President Pence. My distinguished guests, my fellow Americans.
This is America's day. This is democracy's day. A day of history and hope, of renewal and resolve. Through a crucible for the ages, America has been tested anew and America has risen to the challenge. Today we celebrate the triumph not of a candidate but of a cause, a cause of democracy. The people - the will of the people - has been heard, and the will of the people has been heeded.
We've learned again that democracy is precious, democracy is fragile and, at this hour my friends, democracy has prevailed. So now on this hallowed ground where just a few days ago violence sought to shake the Capitol's very foundations, we come together as one nation under God - indivisible - to carry out the peaceful transfer of power as we have for more than two centuries.
As we look ahead in our uniquely American way, restless, bold, optimistic, and set our sights on a nation we know we can be and must be, I thank my predecessors of both parties for their presence here. I thank them from the bottom of my heart. And I know the resilience of our Constitution and the strength, the strength of our nation, as does President Carter, who I spoke with last night who cannot be with us today, but who we salute for his lifetime of service.
I've just taken a sacred oath each of those patriots have taken. The oath first sworn by George Washington. But the American story depends not on any one of us, not on some of us, but on all of us. On we the people who seek a more perfect union. This is a great nation, we are good people. And over the centuries through storm and strife in peace and in war we've come so far. But we still have far to go.
Wednesday, February 3, 2021
McCarthy seeks shift from party's civil war
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