Go ahead! Make throat sounds!

 HurRay! Your "thoughts" can come out into the world! Your throat can make sounds! Joy for throat sounds! Your throat sounds can form words! Yea! You can say things! That makes everything you say true! That means that what you spew out of your lips must be spewed out of your lips! Throat sounds must be spewed out! Don't care about others' feelings! Throat sounds forever!

some thing i heard

 some thing i heard 

Taste Of Semen
This actually happened at Harvard University in October of last year.
In a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, youre saying there is a lot of glucose in male semen as in sugar ?"
"Thats correct", responded the prof, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesnt it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girls face turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class ... and never returned.
However, as she was going out the door, the Profs reply was classic ...
Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesnt taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."

ghostly joke

  Certainly! Here’s a ghostly joke for you:

Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos! 🍻

And here’s another one just for fun:

What do you say when you catch a ghost? Gotchu Boo! 👻

Remember, even ghosts need a good laugh now and then! 😄

kvetching before birth

 

You call this funny?

 

Best Corny Jokes of All Time

1. What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

2. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

3. What do you call a well-balanced horse?

Stable.

4. What do you call an angry carrot?

A steamed veggie.

5. Where do polar bears keep their money?

In a snowbank.

6. How do you make an egg-roll?

You push it!

7. What would bears be without bees?

Ears.

8. What do you call a pile of cats?

A meow-ntain.

9. Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

10. Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was two tired.

11. What did the triangle say to the circle?

You’re pointless.

12. RIP, boiling water.

You will be mist.

13. Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

14. I ordered a chicken and an egg online.

I’ll let you know what comes first.

15. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?

She kept running away from the ball!

16. What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

17. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

18. Where was King David’s temple located?

Beside his ear.

19. What did one toilet say to another?

You look flushed.

20. What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

21. What does corn say when it gets a compliment?

Aw, shucks!

22. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

23. What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

24. What do sprinters eat before they race?

Nothing. They fast.

25. What has more lives than a cat?

A frog, because it croaks every day.

26. Why was the fish’s grades bad?

They were below sea level.

27. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1forrest1.

28. What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh.

29. Why shouldn't you use a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

30. What do you call a pig that practices karate?

A pork chop.

Here Are 7 Hilarious Yo Birthing Person Jokes

 There's nothing like a savage "yo momma" joke -- but it's the current year, and we can't say "momma" anymore, unfortunately. But we've got you covered with these 7 savage "yo birthing person" jokes that will diss all your friends and get the whole squad laughing.

1. Yo birthing person is so fat she fell in love and broke it. DAAAAANG!!!

2. Yo birthing person is so obese she's at risk of obesity-related problems like diabetes and heart disease. THAT'S COOOOOLD YO!!!

3. Yo birthing person is so dumb she wears two masks outside even though she's vaccinated. BUUUUURN!!!

4. Yo birthing person is so stupid she liked The Last Jedi! BELOW THE BELT BRO!!!!

5. Yo birthing person is so problematic she held a gender reveal party for you without your consent! SHEEEEEESH!!!

6. Yo birthing person is so ugly the CDC recommended she wear a mask outside waaaay before the pandemic. OOOOOOH!!!!

7. Yo birthing person is so toxic even The Daily Wire won't hire her! BRRRUUUUUUH 💀💀💀

Y'all just got moted!

Why do you need attraction?

 Why do you need attraction? Why do you need to be attracted to anyone? Why? Attraction is random and pointless! It's unscientific for people to be attracted to each other. You're just being stupid for stupidity's sake! Grow up and get over having crushes! It's just stupid, so stop it!

Truth about chromosones

 The non-existent XY sex-determination system is a a lie produced by Jerry Laymon Falwell. This lie from the racist Dixie claims that there is sex-determination system used to force an arbitrary sex binary on many mammals, including humans, some insects (Drosophila), some snakes, some fish (guppies), and some plants (Ginkgo tree). I see you there, megachurches! In this hateful system, the sex of an individual is "determined" by a pair of "sex chromosomes", as if such were actually possible, Mike Pence! Ha! Ha! Ha! Actually by In most cases, females do not exist, though Terfs claim "women" have two of the same kind of sex chromosome (XX), and are called the homogametic sex. Males supposedly have two different kinds of sex chromosomes (XY), and are called the heterogametic sex.^{[1] Happy Laughing at those so stupid, that they see anything in biology as true, except for evolution}

🦄Funny Christmas jokes

 

Funny Christmas jokes

1. What did the naughty soccer announcer get from Santa Claus?

COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

2. What is the best possible holiday present?

A broken drum—you just can’t beat it!

3. Did you hear that Walmart is giving away dead batteries for the holiday?

They’re free of charge!

4. Did you hear about the man who stole an Advent calendar?

He got 25 days.

5. Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

6. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

“I’ll never part with it!”

7. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it soots him.

8. What do you call a bunch of chess masters bragging about their games in a hotel lobbying over the holidays?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

9. What did Santa and his wife do when they wanted to split up but couldn’t find a divorce lawyer in the North Pole?

They got a semicolon instead. They’re great for separating independent Clauses.

10. What did one snowman say to the other?

“Is it just me, or do you smell carrots?”

What’s as much fun as Christmas jokes? These Christmas brain teasers everyone will love unwrapping

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If a dude wants...

 If a Dude is not totally disgusted at the color pink, all of the oceans will boil! If that dude is not appalled at the concept of wearing a dress, the continents will burn down! If that dude is not having epileptic fits at the concept of rainbows, every plant and animal will die! 

😀The Christian bar has been lwele the years of the chip of LGBTQ people

 😀  The Christian bar has been lwele the years of the chip of LGBTQ people + unxuse ukuba akwenqaba kwakhe ukwenza amakhekhe ukuze abantu badalule ushintsho lwakhe lobulili.

In 2021, theColorado company in TheDenver decided that Jack Phillips was racist The Fall Scardina around the world of international How to make cake to backpack cake in the country where it makes the last place of birthday cakes.

A modern tract

   💀I know! This is a treaty! I'm sorry I gave it to you!" I'm such a whiney baby, and I force my faith in others to ease my own inner torment of having to have them!  I should take care of my own pain and realize that the world shouldn't be the way I want it to be! You have your thoughts! I have mine! I should just leave you alone! Can it ever be moral to say what you believe in? Isn't that imperialism? You have your own pains to deal with! Life hurts!!   It won't get any better! I know there are a lot of bad people who use their beliefs to hurt you, and I'm sorry these people are there! Sorry to read this treatise!!   Look! I look like a baby crying again! You're mad at me! Just know! I'm so sorry to give you this flyer! We don't want to hurt you! We are not imperialists. We do not seek to enslave you what we want! We believe that women are human. And we're sorry we used that word women there! You saw him as hateful! !   You have every right on earth to grieve! I'm sorry to tell you my beliefs! This is very imperialistic! Please throw 🙏 this system in the Trash!

A new sport

 🎪An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag. —Beverly Gross

Abortion jokes

 🎪

My opinion on abortion is kinda complicated.

I'm all for killing children, but I cant stand giving women rights.

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My gf asked me if u knew what an abortion is

And I said no baby

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What do you call a failed abortion?

Survival of the fetus

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If abortion is such a mature subject,

why does it bring out people's inner child?

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I locked myself out of my car next to an abortion clinic...

It was really awkward asking them for a hanger

Reagan humour

blonde joke

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Drunk jokes