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I am with you in the ups.
I am with you in the downs.
I am with you in the hard.
I am with you in the quiet.
I am with you in the chaotic.
I am with you in the calm.
I am with you in the storm.
I am with you in it all.
I know that you are bored of the idea of information, and you know that nobody will ever date you if you're into reading, but dating isn't really everything, And in a lot of countries, people don't date? And besides, dating gets to be seen as stupid as you grow up. Also I know that you are in pain, and I am sorry to be writing this, and I am sorry to have you read this, and I am sorry that I ever wanted you to read this! Please throw this away rather than read it! You are in pain! I cannot do anything about that! Please 🙏 just throw this away, and forget that I exist, but God is not a Karen! He is not triggered! He is beyond emotions! He is not a terrorist! Terrorists control others! They rule by fear! They are ruled by their emotions! God is not a mere human! Wait! I am sorry that I mentioned God or anything about anything, and once again, I am sorry that you're reading this! We are not terrorists! Yes, you can believe in truth and not be a terrorist! That's actually possible! No, I am not God! I do not define truth! I do not define reality! I am as much a sinner as you! I am not a Nazi! Please🙏 don't hate us! We don't seek to control your mind!
Days of him are 5 years old.
Good luck with your blue eyes that look like Hitler!
You can not touching garbage!
You can get a sea horse!
It keeps going and going to be boring.
I know something about this guy.
💓Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita, Chapter 35, The Poem
Because you took advantage of a sinner because you took advantage because you took because you took advantage of my disadvantage when I stood Adam-naked before a federal law and all its stinging stars Because you took advantage of a sin when I was helpless moultng moist and tender hoping for the best dreaming of marriage in a mountain state aye of a litter of Lolitas Because you took advantage of my inner essential innocence because you cheated me-- Because you cheated me of my redemption because you took her at the age when lads play with erector sets a little downy girl still wearing poppies still eating popcorn in the colored gloam where tawny Indians took paid croppers because you stole her from her wax-browed and dignified protector spitting into his heavy-lidded eye ripping his flavid toga and at dawn leaving the hog to roll upon his new discomfort the awfulness of love and violets remorse despair while you took a dull doll to pieces and threw its head away because of all you did because of all I did not you have to die
Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita, Chapter 25
Wanted, wanted: Dolores Haze. Hair: brown. Lips: scarlet. Age: five thousand three hundred days. Profession: none, or "starlet" Where are you hiding, Dolores Haze? Why are you hiding, darling? (I Talk in a daze, I walk in a maze I cannot get out, said the starling). Where are you riding, Dolores Haze? What make is the magic carpet? Is a Cream Cougar the present craze? And where are you parked, my car pet? Who is your hero, Dolores Haze? Still one of those blue-capped star-men? Oh the balmy days and the palmy bays, And the cars, and the bars, my Carmen! Oh Dolores, that juke-box hurts! Are you still dancin', darlin'? (Both in worn levis, both in torn T-shirts, And I, in my corner, snarlin'). Happy, happy is gnarled McFate Touring the States with a child wife, Plowing his Molly in every State Among the protected wild life. My Dolly, my folly! Her eyes were vair, And never closed when I kissed her. Know an old perfume called Soliel Vert? Are you from Paris, mister? L'autre soir un air froid d'opera m'alita; Son fele -- bien fol est qui s'y fie! Il neige, le decor s'ecroule, Lolita! Lolita, qu'ai-je fait de ta vie? Dying, dying, Lolita Haze, Of hate and remorse, I'm dying. And again my hairy fist I raise, And again I hear you crying. Officer, officer, there they go-- In the rain, where that lighted store is! And her socks are white, and I love her so, And her name is Haze, Dolores. Officer, officer, there they are-- Dolores Haze and her lover! Whip out your gun and follow that car. Now tumble out and take cover. Wanted, wanted: Dolores Haze. Her dream-gray gaze never flinches. Ninety pounds is all she weighs With a height of sixty inches. My car is limping, Dolores Haze, And the last long lap is the hardest, And I shall be dumped where the weed decays, And the rest is rust and stardust
I am sorry that you're reading this! I am sorry that I am telling you what I believe! I am sorry that it is you who are reading it! I don't want to control you! I don't want to control your feelings! You are you! I am me! Why should we have to interact? I am sorry for having beliefs! I am sorry for telling you what I believe! Please 🙏 don't hate me! Please throw this in the trash! Forget me forever! Okay?
For example, I did this in a few years.
The problem with bottle caps is that gas is not a problem.
You have no clue how you feel about your feelings.
If you feel about your feelings, you are awesome!👍
Are we perpetually enslaved to our inner doubts, despair and anger?
It is hard to sing the song of freedom when we do not feel free. So often it feels as though the sea will never split.
Because inside every one of us there is a Pharaoh and he will not let us go. He holds us down and mocks our hopes. He laughs and tells us that we are slaves and we will always be slaves. That there is no other life for us than the one we have.
He points to the wasted, ruined efforts of our past and tells us that we must continue to waste our lives building useless buildings and watching them fall. He tells us that all of our tomorrows will be made of this futile, helpless emptiness. And we hear him and we are crushed and defeated. Depleted of spirit and unable even to cry. We see our future and it looks like our present and it looks like our past. We are not worthy of salvation. We will never reach the promised land.
This is all true. Except.
Except that within each of us there is also a Moses. And his voice says, “Let’s go!” His voice says, “It’s true that you may now be a slave but you don’t have to be tomorrow what you are today. You were not created to build castles in the sand. You are worthy of serving God in the Promised Land. Look up and see that place in the distance. If you believe in yourself you can be saved.”
And all of this is true. Except.
Except that the voice of Moses is a stammer and he speaks so softly that we cannot hear. And if we cannot hear then how can we change? And if we do not change then how will we be free?
We are condemned to be exactly what we are right now, a small, wan version of the self that God willed for us when He blew into us the breath of life. The life that we are now wasting.
This is painful but true. Except.
Even a soft stammer is loud when is speaks the truth.
Except, the thin, soft sound can be heard if you are willing to hear it. If you can be silent long enough. Even a soft stammer is loud when is speaks the truth. You will know the truth when you encounter it. You will recognize the voice that uplifts instead of pushing you down. When you hear it, you can choose to heed its call.
And every word of it will be true.
Sometimes the path to salvation is made of your own work and the sea will not split, so you must swim to get to the other side. Sometimes the lesson is not so obvious, and both the hero and the villain are you. Sometimes the Egypt you escape is within you and you must find a new way to be.
There is always a Pharaoh and a Moses, slavery and salvation. And there is always a choice to make. Only you can decide whose voice you will heed and where you will travel.
And that is eternally true.
https://aish.com/there-is-a-pharaoh-and-moses-inside-each-of-us/?src=ac-txt
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