I grew up in a household with a narc dad and a borderline mom who often left us for long periods of time to do god knows what.
When I was 12 I learned that I had a half sister, who was 17 and living in another town a few hours away. She had problems in her house too, although mainly economical problems, not actual neglect caused by ill will.
We wrote letters to each other and in one letter I shared with her my fear of the long summer holiday. Being stuck in the house without even school to escape to was hell. She made a promise to come and save me if it got too bad. "Just let me know and I'll find a way to help" she wrote.
A few days after I had posted my letter where I told her about how my mother had stopped providing meals, and my dad was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive, she showed up on our doorstep.
She told my dad that I was going to spend the summer holiday with her family and since my dad hated kids, myself included, he happily agreed, no questions asked.
We took the night train north, I was so excited. She didn't take me home with her - she took me camping. We spent the entire summer hiking amazingly beautiful trails, usually tenting but sometimes renting a small cabin for the night. It was the happiest summer of my life. I suddenly had a sister – who cared and enjoyed spending time with me. She could fish and trap birds, and cook and showed me how to read maps and the names of the constellations in the night sky.
When the summer ended I was transformed. I wasn’t shy or confidence deprived anymore. I was a strong and resilient kid with an entirely new outlook on things.
I reported my parents for lacking parenting skills and I was placed with a foster family. Neither of them made a fuss to keep me, so it was easily done.
I often think about that summer, that changed my life so profoundly. I don’t know if it was that I gained a sister, or that she showed me that I can survive – and thrive – even on the roughest, unmarked trails.
It wasn’t until years later that I learned the real story behind that summer. At the time when she made me that promise, my sister lived with her family in a tiny apartment, with no place for yet another person or another mouth to feed.
In fact she had been told to get out herself as soon as possible, to make room for her siblings, and she was now awaiting the day when she could move into her student apartment.
I was amazed to hear that not only was our wonderful summer an emergency solution, her way to keep her promise and also give me an unforgettable summer – but she did it so well that I never once realized that we were there because we had nowhere else to go.
Today I turn 30. My sister is still my best friend and this summer we plan to hit the trails again.
Edit: Thank you all for your kind comments - I'm stunned. For those who wonder about the trail. This is it: http://www.swedishlapland.com/stories/kings-trail/
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