Tuesday, October 22, 2024

"Southerners. They're always so slow, like molasses in January

 "You know what I can't stand?" began Tom, his voice echoing through the quiet office. "Southerners. They're always so slow, like molasses in January."


Pamela Harris looked up from her computer, her eyes narrowing at the sound of Tom's voice. She had been lost in thought, scrolling through the endless emails that had accumulated in her inbox over the weekend. Born and raised in the bustling city of New York, she had always found Southerners to be an enigma—their laid-back charm and lilting accents a stark contrast to the fast-paced, no-nonsense world she was accustomed to.


"What's got you all riled up, Tom?" she asked, her voice dripping with feigned innocence as she swiveled her chair to face him.


Tom leaned back in his chair, his fingers tapping a rhythm on the armrest. "It's just, you know, they move at their own pace, say 'yes ma'am' and 'no sir' like it's going out of style, and expect everyone else to do the same."


Pamela felt a spark of annoyance flare up in her chest. She had heard this rant from Tom before. His prejudices were as predictable as the seasons, and just as unwelcome. "That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" she said calmly. "I've met some pretty sharp Southern folks in my time. Besides, isn't it just about respect?"


Tom snorted. "Respect? They're just playing a game, Harris. You can't trust someone who's that polite all the time."


Pamela's jaw tightened. She knew her colleagues found her bluntness refreshing—or so they claimed—but she couldn't stand the way Tom generalized about an entire group of people. She had visited the South once, on a work trip, and found it to be full of rich culture, warm hearts, and a sense of community she hadn't felt in her concrete jungle. She decided it was time to set him straight. "You know what, Tom? Maybe you should actually get to know some Southerners before you start spouting off stereotypes."


Tom rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Harris. You're just too sensitive."


But the conversation had piqued the interest of the office's new intern, Becky, who had just moved from a small town in Georgia. She had been quietly working at her desk, trying to blend into the background of the fast-talking Northerners. She cleared her throat, her cheeks flushing with a mix of embarrassment and indignation. "Excuse me," she said, her voice thick with the sweetness of a Southern drawl. "But I'm from the South, and I can promise you, not everyone down there is slow and polite just for show."


Tom turned to her with a smirk. "Oh really? Tell us, Becky, what's it like down in the land of the slow-talking, banjo-picking, moonshine-swilling good ol' boys?"


Becky's eyes flashed with a hint of fire. She had heard enough of Tom's nonsense. She took a deep breath, drawing in the tension of the room. "Well, Tom, I can tell you this much," she said, her voice steady. "We do have moonshine. And let me tell you, it's a heck of a lot stronger than anything you've probably ever had."


With that, she reached into her bag and pulled out a small mason jar filled with a clear, potent liquid. The room fell silent as she unscrewed the lid and took a swig. The sharp burn of the moonshine filled her mouth, but she didn't flinch. She swallowed it down and set the jar on her desk with a thud. "You see, where I come from, we don't just drink moonshine to be 'quirky' or 'rustic'. It's a part of our heritage. It's what kept our families warm and our spirits high during tough times. So before you go judging an entire region based on a couple of TV shows and movies, maybe you should try a little bit of what you're talking about."


Tom's smirk faltered. "Alright, alright," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "I'll bite. But only if you join me."

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